I feel myself at a loss for words, yet feel the need to write. The last few days have been incredibly emotionally draining. Hell the last 2 weeks have been. Just when I thought to myself, "Shit what else could go wrong?" some more shit goes wrong.
I know I have a tendency to get annoyed about trivial shit. Maybe that is so I don't let it build up, so when giant dramatic stuff happens I don't completely go off my rocker and murder someone. We all deal with stress differently. I listen to music mostly when I am upset. I feel like every time Lucas is asleep I have my headphones on blasting music. My stress is reaching a critical level, and I need to vent my frustrations in some way.
I do not understand why people feel that just because they CAN say something on the internet, that they SHOULD. The last few days have been filled with such ridiculous, childish, high school bullshit, I literally felt like I was 16 again. The people I hold dearest to my heart have been called names, ridiculed, and made to seem like villians in a twisted soap opera created for someone else to be sickly amused. People are twisting the truth to make themselves feel better about their lives, while putting down everyone else, as if we are beneath them.
I'm over it all. I'm gonna attempt to get some sleep, but I don't know if it will happen. I just want my family to know how much I totally love them and stand behind them in their decisions. You know who you are.
And especially to my dad- I love you. You are a fantastic father and a wonderful human being. While there have been plenty of times in my life you have frustrated me, I know that in your heart you only want what is best for the entire family. You have devoted your life to being there for us 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year, at the expense of your own wants and desires out of life. And I know we aren't perfect kids, but I would say you and mommy have done a DAMN good job raising us and my Grandfather would be especially proud of the way you have taken care of his most prized item in his lifetime- my Grandmother. <3
