I go into writing this, knowing full well I will get some flack from "friends" quite frankly, I don't care.
Over the last few weeks, I am seeing a lot of posts promoting stricter disciplining of children, finger pointing, ridicule of other parents, etc. As with most controversial issues, I tend to stay mum to the issue. However, I really don't think I can anymore. I will say this politely once. You are not the parent of MY child, so, unless I expressly ask your opinion of how to handle a given situation, keep your opinions to yourself.
Now, I am 100000% guilty of giving unwanted parenting advice. I challenge any parent in a conversation with their peers to not mention what they did a similar situation. "Oh potty training so and so, the M&M trick worked" "timing them worked" "nothing worked and they still shit themselves to this day" (ok never actually got that one lol) I do not, however, get indignant with people when they don't share my feelings. If that is how you feel, whatever, it effects me in no way. The world keeps spinnin.
I am seeing a lot of people talk about how "that kid needs their ass kicked" "what a shitty mom letting their kid run around like that" "control that kid of yours" WELL! Point A.) If you have not spawned an offspring of your own, SHUT THE FUCK UP! (this does not go for people that are exposed to children heavily on a daily basis. ie: Teachers) As cliche' as it sounds, you have no fucking idea until you have a kid of you own. That is a fact. B.) You just suggested, that a CHILD get their ass kicked. What makes it ok to hit someone smaller than you, that rely on and trust you for their entire well being?
I have worked retail. I remember that kid that would come in and run amok in my store, knocking boxes off the shelves, causing all kinds of hell. I also now, as a parent, recognize the look on most (certainly not all) parent faces when their child did that. Despair, embarrassment, exhaustion. I get it man. No worries, in all honestly, yes, I did have 400000 other things to take care of that day, and cleaning up after your 3 yr old wasn't on the list, but that's life.
I am also guilty of saying a kid needs to be disciplined better. However, in hindsight, who the hell am I? Do I know your child personally and on that level? Does your child have an illness or personality disorder? How on earth would I know that, and don't you dare feel obligated to tell me if you are not comfortable with it! Am I one of their primary care givers? (most people can answer no to this lol) I go out of my way to not correct my niece/nephews behavior plenty of times, because. I dunno what went on earlier today. Did AJ get made fun of as school? Or not do well on a test and is just acting out? He is 6. Also, boundaries. I fucking respect them. If my sister is sitting there, why on earth would I correct her kids behavior unless they were threatening their own or an others well being? I won't. And I expect the same respect from her. **the exception to this rule being when I lived with my nephew Dylan, I was pretty much allowed to correct him whenever. I feel if you live with that kid, say whatever you want.**Do not ever let me hear you say how or when my child needs to be disciplined.
"Oh Teresa, I got my butt spanked by my parents and I am fine" Ok, I know you are. I grew up in the same generation as a lot of you. The world is a lot different now than it was then. Am I saying I am a perfect parent and I have never spanked my kid? Of course not. Do you know how shitty I felt afterwards? VERY. Am I saying our house is a free for all with no rules? Come spend some time here and find out. I welcome it.
Maybe I'm raising a hell spawn that will turn out terribly. How on earth do I know how he will be, he's freaking almost 3 years old. I know now that I have a caring, loving, smart, affectionate child, that is polite to his family, loves animals, calls his cousin and uncle his best friends, can count and do his letters, knows all of his colors and shapes, gets excited to run errands, and always wants his mama and daddy to "be happy" I would say our parenting techniques are working out just fine too.
Whatever your beliefs for raising your child are, I respect them. Are you a baby wearing, cloth diapering, extended breast feeding vegan? I LOVE YOU! Are you a working mom, that had your kid at day care most of the day, using disposables, and love hunting and eating meat? I LOVE YOU! Anti vax? Rock on? Anti circ? Do what you feel in right! But please, do not attempt, (unless we have had convos at length *cough* kiara *cough* lol) to try and sway me to your beliefs. I have always extended you the same courtesy. As you have done your research, I have done mine, and I stand by my parenting choices so far.
Will I allow my child to be a spoiled, self centered brat? I'll do everything in my power to avoid that from happening, and if it does, my husband and I will cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime, unless you were involved in the creation and daily raising of this kid, shut the fuck up, mind your own business, and stop trying to tell me what to do.
To end this, am I saying I don't ever want parenting advice from people? No, not at all. If we are hanging out and my kid is running around swinging a baseball bat and he could hit your kid, by all means, go grab it from him or get me. If he is jumping on your couch being defiant and we aren't in the room, tell him to sit his little butt down. If he is crying and whining and throwing a tantrum, let us handle it our own way. We spend the most time we him, I know what every whine and cry he puts out means. He might be tired or hungry or frustrated. He's still just a child, and I have every intention of letting him enjoy as much of that as he can!
***this post is in no way directed at any of mine or Marc's family and is directly related to comments made by friends recently***
